Modern Things

Earlier this year, my family spent the three-day weekend at my parent's lake house near Lincoln City, Oregon.  (Yay! for 3-day weekends.)  The cozy vacation home provided plenty of space for my parents, sister, brother-in-law, niece, nephew, husband, two sons, and me to unwind and unplug.  

I quickly learned that the entire concept of unplugging for a long weekend has a different meaning depending on who you talk to.  For me, unplugging means no work- or business-related technology allowed.  I teach middle and high school English for an online public charter school, so I am on the computer 40+ hours a week just for work.  Anytime spent away from my computer is relaxing, but I still do not avoid technology completely.  I upload and edit photos, shop, and catch-up with my digital friends via Facebook, Google Hangouts, and Goodreads.  I enjoy reading eBooks on my tablet, googling facts, and texting friends and family.  I enjoy the social aspects of technology.  I love the connections technology helps create and the oceans it crosses.  Even though using technology provides for my family, I still find enjoyment in it, as long as there's balance.

I can't talk about technology without singing the Napoleon Dynamite song in my head.

A weekend off for my parents, means a weekend off the grid.  No TV.  No cellphones.  (Thank goodness they are accustomed to the comforts of electricity.)  A weekend off for my parents means going to the beach or park when the weather permits (and even when it doesn't) and playing card games into the wee hours of the night.  My parents do not scold or scoff at others for continued use of technology, but they would rather everyone partake in a group activity rather than carry on a conversation via text with someone who isn't even present.

I'm definitely going to do this when my boys are older.

Now, in order to understand one's views and preferences, it helps to see things from their perspective.  My parents grew up with the simple pleasures.  They did not grow up like the Ingalls family in the wild west.  They had all the modern conveniences of their time - TV, microwaves, and the original party line.  Some modern marvels in my mom's childhood were color TV, a big stereo that would play 45s, transistor radios, and dishwashers.  She shared a phone line with four neighbors.  The private phone line was major.  No longer did people have to wait for the party line to open; however, there were still no answering machines.  If someone called, they left a message.  My mom does not remember the exact day or time when her family purchased a microwave, but she does remember the convenience this huge box provided.  One no longer had to reheat leftovers in the oven or on the stove.  With the advent of the microwave, came recipes to create just in the microwave.  Before the microwave, there wasn't much instant food - sadly, that came later.  This huge metal box of radiation waves created a modern convenience in the 1970s.

My mom remembers using a typewriter for her school papers.  In grad school, she could not keep up without a computer, so my dad bought a Macintosh Performa 405.  My mom used it for school.  The rest of us used it to draw or make cards.  Nothing more or less.  Since owning this computer, my parents have never been without a computer in their household.  Now, it is used for word processing, email, and ebay.  My mom has a smartphone and an iPad.  She loves the convenience of ebooks.  She loves seeing photos of friends, but she does not need these devices for anything more than that.  She loves these modern things, but they do not consume her.

Yup, this looks just like my family's first computer.

I remember that Mac sitting in our dining room.  Little did I know that this was the beginning of a technological era for us all.  When I started high school, pagers (or beepers) were all the rage.  One could page "143" and the recipient understood that that meant, "I love you."  During high school, students used the Internet to assist in researching an essay and a Discman with shock protection was a coveted method of music emission.  Instead of fighting with siblings over the phone and taking blank-faced lies when inquiring if so and so beeped in on Call Waiting, we stayed up into the wee hours of the night chatting on AOL Instant Messenger.  When I graduated from high school, most students had a Hotmail account and more and more started getting personal cell phones.  When I graduated college, most students had a personal cell phone.  MySpace was quickly fading in popularity and Facebook was beginning their quest for world domination by reducing the degree of separation from six to four.  These are all major advances in accessible technology and social media; however they all took place gradually and together we coexisted and grew through adolescence and into early adulthood.

Nowadays, everyone has access to all forms of technology, but with varied comfort levels.  Many adults 40+ have a much bigger learning curve than young adults in their 20s and 30s.  Based on my teaching experience at a web academy, it's safe to say that kids under 20 are very well adjusted and functional.  Any kid born in the last ten years, war born hard-wired into a fast-paced, status posting society.  

Well said, Mr. Einstein.

I am very cautious of the effects of technology on my boys and the results of too much or too little of it.  My sons were practically born with a Facebook following.  We make a conscious effort not to tweet or update our status every time they take a new step in life, but technology in terms of social media have been present.  Distant relatives enjoy viewing photos.  My brother and wife, who live in Amsterdam, connect via Google Chat.  Technology bridges the gap and connects us, but...

Yes, there's always a "but."  Kids these days are almost too connected, too dependent on these modern things.  They are missing out on the life happening all around them.  My parents grew-up in a world with no social media and they still managed to connect with the people around them.  I grew up while technology progressed, so I, too, know how to stay connected without the newest gadget.  I have basic phone skills and skills for interacting virtually.  I know the flutter of anticipation while waiting for that special phone call and the disappointment when the phone remained silent.  I also know the feeling of getting those thumbs up likes on Facebook after a posted picture.  I can have it both ways, but I’m not sure this current generation of kids are able to find a happy medium.  

So, what does that happy medium look like?  Here are a few guidelines we follow in my house:

• Follow basic Netiquette (a.k.a. network etiquette).
• Teach the boys about technology and appropriate ways to use it. 
• Save technology for quiet time and set a timer. 
• No technology at the dinner table OR while spending time with friends or family. 
• Have fun with technology.  Learn about it and from it.

I understand the rules, boundaries,  and etiquette of in-person and virtual interactions and I am consciously trying to pass these values on to my children.  I am trying to teach them about the balance that must exist between old and new.  Finding that balance is key to a healthy relationship with technology and the world around us.  When the clock strikes 4:00PM, I walk away from my computer.  I try not to grab my phone until my children are fast asleep.  We do not use our phones when at the dinner table or while carrying on a conversation.  We are present, in the moment and I find it important to model this behavior for my boys.  We also find it very important to limit technology time - that includes time on the LeapPad and TV.  Our boys will gripe and whine, and howl with an overly dramatic, "Why?"  We explain our reasoning by telling it's important to interact with the people around us.  They are satisfied with that answer, for now.

Sad, but often true.

During our weekend at the beach, the kids rotated between Legos, LeapPads, coloring, and general horseplay.  The adults found entertainment in visiting, playing card games, corralling the kids, reading, and the occasional phone and tablet monitoring.  There was a balance present - a beautiful dance between old fashioned and modern fun.  

The wonder of the Internet fascinates me.  The availability of knowledge motivates me to keep asking questions and finding answers to learn more.  I have no problem with technology in my personal life.  I use it for my livelihood and entertainment.  Technology is unmistakably woven into every aspect of my life and I am okay with that, because I am aware of the balance we must keep and the results of too much technology.  I am worried for those who are without this balance.  I am worried about this (and future) generations of kids growing up hard-wired into the newest device.  I am worried about my students who will miss the opportunity of a new adventure, experience, or friendship, because they were focused on their phone, tablet, or computer.  

We need to teach this generation of kids to look up at the world around them.  It is our responsibility to teach the youth about the dangers of too much technology.  We need to teach and model the behavior, etiquette, and perimeters necessary to exist with these modern things.  We need to take this task seriously, and maybe, just maybe we won't live in a world of lonely robots.

What are the modern things that you cannot live without?  What kind of behavior, etiquette, and perimeters do you find necessary?  Please share your thoughts by leaving a comment below.